The story below is a testimonial plea from a woman who recognized her need for forgiveness and repentance much later in life. If only we could all see the importance of salvation in the current days, the earlier years; not putting it off until we are in the deepest of pits, or until it’s even too late. Natalia had heard about Christ many times during her earlier days; however, she still chose to live a worldly and sinful life. In desperate times though, God provided a way for Natalia to be cared for and have her eyes opened to Himself. Now, she is pleading with others to not wait. “I only wish I had believed in God earlier.” Natalia lived out her last days reading the Psalms and listening to sermons. She was comforted by God’s peace—the peace that only He can give.  

“Peace to you, brothers, and sisters in Christ! My name is Natalia, and I am 46 years old. I’M DYING! Forgive me for beginning this letter this way, but this is my reality today. My story can serve as a lesson for those on whose hearts the Lord is knocking, but who refuse to let Him into their hearts. My mother is a Chuvash, while my father was a Roma. My father was murdered when my mother was pregnant with me. I never saw him. He and his fellow Roma were trying to steal a herd of horses. During the chase, they were shot at. It was unfortunate that my father died without ever seeing his daughter. When I was born, my mother and I moved several times. I was a quiet girl who went to school and played like all children—nothing special. When I was 17, a Roma man asked me to marry him. He courted me very nicely, gave me gifts, and my mother married me to him. I fell in love with him and that choice ultimately broke my life. He turned out to be a drug addict, and later I also became addicted to drugs and started selling them. It was impossible to get out of that vicious circle. In the apartment where we sold drugs, there were numerous icons on the walls. All Roma see themselves as believers when they pray.

When I was expecting a baby and my child’s life was at risk, I prayed fervently first in my life. But when my daughter died during childbirth, I was completely broken. I became angry with God; I committed the worst sins and that’s when I ended up in prison for the first time. A Christian female in the pretrial detention facility spent much time praying and regularly reading the Bible. She intended to offer me a Bible, but I declined, saying that since God wasn’t helping me there was no point in reading more books about him. I received a five-year prison sentence and was moved to penal colony number nine (IK-9) in Novosibirsk. 

During that time, things were hard; I frequently experienced hunger, and no one showed concern for me. This is the place where I first went to a Christian church service. My friend enticed me by saying that everyone received humanitarian aid, personal hygiene products, tea, and cookies. However, you had to sit through the entire sermon to receive everything you needed. Half-listening, I remembered that Jesus died for the sins of everyone and it’s important to repent and believe in God, but I didn’t care about that then. During my time in prison, I received humanitarian aid multiple times, but I wasn’t going to believe in God. When I got out of prison, nobody wanted me. After that, I met a man. After a short time of living together, he kicked me out of his house. I returned to the Roma after wandering for a while. I started dealing drugs again. A little over a month after being released from prison, I got another prison term. In prison, I discovered that I was pregnant. My son entered the world while surrounded by barbed wire. Later, after I had nursed him, my mother became his guardian. In the village of Bazoy, I went to a survival school. The experience there was extremely challenging. I was always sick. I couldn’t work. There were a lot of believers there who were very strong spiritually. Christians used to gather there, usually about 30 people. They were helping people just like me. My heart slowly melted, and I even read the Bible through, but I did not believe in God because I started corresponding with my future husband. He, too, was incarcerated and we were making plans together. He was a Roma, and I was caught in the net again. This man was doing “big things” when we started living together. He dealt drugs in kilograms, and we ended up in prison. He received a 15-year prison sentence while I got 13 years. To me, it was the final stage of my life. 

After a few years behind bars, I came to the realization that I was suffering from a severe illness. But people like me were not treated well. For every illness, they could only provide me with a tablet of analgen or paracetamol (Tylenol). My condition deteriorated: I became thinner, felt unwell, and soon began experiencing bleeding and pus discharge. I deeply appreciate the girls who believed in God for praying for me, washing me, and giving me everything I needed. It was at that time that I started to learn how to pray. Finally, I was transported to a hospital beyond the prison walls, where I received a diagnosis of terminal cancer. They couldn’t do anything to help me. They fussed over me a little and let me go to die outside the prison. That is how I ended up in liberty without completing my nine years of imprisonment. I had no documents, just a certificate of release. I visited the family of my husband who was also my former accomplice, but they declined to support me as they were struggling and needed support themselves. I was extremely nervous and ended up passing out. Then I woke up in the hospital where I was taken by ambulance. The doctors examined me and said they could not keep me in the hospital. I pleaded with them to keep me until the evening of that day before letting me go. And in a moment of desperation, I recalled God and started to pray. I discovered the phone number of a Roma woman named Rubina in my phone book. She is my first husband’s sister. I had previously encountered her in the detention center where she provided me with her mother Luiza’s phone number. When I called Rubina, I told her my situation. She called as many people as she could. Yet no one was willing to help me. After that, Rubina advised me to pray as it was my last chance. She then called a Baptist named Sasha, who she said would help anyone. And indeed, Alexander responded and came to the hospital to pick me up. He recommended that I go to a hospice where I would have a roof over my head and good care. 

Alexander and I drove for more than an hour, and he told me about God, about Christ, about repentance, and about eternity. I had heard everything Alexander was telling me many times before from other Christians, but this time it seemed like I suddenly began to believe. I was amazed as nobody had helped me in my situation previously, but Alexander said God wanted me and Jesus had died for my sins, warning that without repentance, I would go to hell. He was not playing games with me. In the hospice where I was admitted, I found myself in such good comfort that I couldn’t have dreamed of. Alexander promised to visit me the following day and bring me whatever I needed. I could not believe that I was being taken care of by complete strangers. That evening he sent me three videos on repentance. I listened to them all night long, replaying them over and over again. I still can’t sleep at night because of the hellish pain. By the time Alexander came, I had already made the decision to repent and surrender my life to God. Now I am with God, I have been forgiven, and I ask my Father to take me to Him speedily.

I’m not afraid of death, as eternity is desirable to me now. I only wish I had believed in God earlier. But I guess that’s my path. My sisters come to visit me; they are so dear to me. My final days on earth are beautiful. I read the Psalms and listen to the sermons. My sisters and Alexander provide everything I need. Maybe when you read this letter, I will already be with my Heavenly Father, most likely. Just turn to Him now; don’t put off this decision for a second. Please don’t repeat my fate! True happiness can only be found with God.” 

Natalia, Your sister in the Lord.

*After sending this testimony… Natalia has gone into eternity and, through Natalia’s testimony, Rubina has turned to God. God continues to save and search for sinners, so we all have a lot of work to do.